Bye Bye

Heeeeey :)
this is my last entry ;)
Now I´m 18 years old and Roof is already 2 years old.
Yees Sam and me aren´t together anymore.I´ve got a new boyfriend and Sam a new girlfriend. We both are very lucky und good friends.
I think for Roof it couldn´t be better.
He always sees his mum and his dad.
Well my story ends here.
Thank you for reading.
I hope you liked it. :P
LOve Alicia Franzi


Our "little" Roof.

Yes! We are good friends :)

Kapitel 18

Well, I don´t think that it will have a good end with Sam and I.
Sam never came back to us. Okay, he visited Roof, but he doesn´t live with us anymore. He was here for a hour.
I was taking a bath when he knocked at the door of the bathroom and asked if he can come in. I opened the door and he came in. He said that I could go back in the bathtub. I thought that he just wanted to look at me and than he said something that shocked me. He said that he got better things to look at. I asked him what that means, but he gave me no straight answer. That was too much for me. Everything went a fast way and I said things, which I now regret. I said, that he would never see Roof again and things like that. Then he got loud and we both screamed until my mum came in. She helped us to talk like adults. Sam came to us because he read things about teenage pregnancy and he read that the fathers loose the contact to their sons. This frightend him that much, that he needed to talk to me about that.
I can understand him. He still loves Roof like me and I can´t imagine a life without him,too.

It´s really strange in this moment.
Sam and I argue about silly things like a t-shirt that lies on the floor.
I don´t know what to do. Sure I hate it when we argue the whole time, but Sam really upsets me.
Maybe Sam´s cold has come perfekt for us. You have to know that Sam is sick and we all are very frightend, that he could infect Roof. So we have agreed that he sleeps at home for now. Now we both can calm down and when he comes back, it may be much better.

Kapitel 17

Kapitel 16

Oh dear.

I swear it´s really not easy to take responsibility for a baby.

Sam and I have had no sufficient sleep since 3 weeks. Every night Roof cries after 3 hours sleep and that one or two times the night. And I have not got used to it. Every time when he cries, I worry what´s going on in my room.

BUT!

…that´s not all!

My look has changed a lot. When I look in the mirror, I don´t see the Alicia, I have seen before.

This Alicia looks very tired and very, yes I would not say untidy, but I don´t have time for me. That means no makeup and no extravagant hair-styles. Sometimes I could cry when I see that.
There is no Alicia anymore, who has the dream of being a model.

Sometimes I think of my life before Roof was born. Sure it was easier. No changing diapers, sleep the whole night and going out meeting friends…all the things that teenagers normally do. How hard being a mum is …

I would never give up my life for anything of this world.

When I see Roof smiling, I forget everything of that.J

Being parents can also be very funny. For example there is a little competition between Sam and me.

We both look who change diapers the best and I have to say that Sam is much better than me, but I don´t give up. One day I will be better ;)

Yesterday Sam and I had our first fight .

At college Sam beat my ex-boyfriend, who is called Jason.

Jason provoked Sam. He said that I am a b**** and so it means that Sam couldn´t be sure that he is the dad of Roof. But Sam knows that I split up with my ex, because he just wanted the one thing. Well Sam knocked Jason down.

When he came back home, he told me the story and something unsettled him, so that he really put in a question if he´s the dad or not. I couldn´t believe it and it made me really sad. In my opinion Sam knows who is Roofs dad? SAM! Who else?! We fight with words and in the end I told him that for him the world is still open. He can just do what he wants. Sam can go to college everything what I see is the inside of our house. I mean I never would become an atomic scientist or a famous book-writer, but I would become something.

After a time calmed down and I apologized .We embraced each other and we even kissed a little bit.

Everything went it´s normal way this day. Roof and I slept a bit and Sam went out for skating. One hour later Sam´s mum came and helped me with Roof. She looked for him, so that I could go out and have some time for me. It was just half and hour, but I really enjoyed it.

Kapitel 15

Today Sam moved to us. Now our little family is complete and i´m really happy about that. I think it is going to be very hard in the next time with Roof.So it´s better when Sam is here the whole time,maybe he can do things for me. With him it´s easier to be a good mum. We can manage everything together with school and so you know ;) . Just beeing a normal family .
When he arrived here, I saw his poster from Tony Hawk,which was in his room before. Sam thought that he could put it up on my wall! Please! Which girl wants to have big poster from Tony Hawk on the wall? I said Sam that i don´t want to have it there and he said that his mum had throw it away, so he brought it with him. Now the poster is under our bed.

Kapitel 15

Kapitel 14

Our son :) isn´t he cute?

Suddenly everything went very quickly. The pain was there and i noticed that Roof was ready to see us ;) . I took a bath, then arrived Sam and he came in. I think he was more nervous than me :D
everything he should do for me went wrong ^^. Well now i don´t care about this , but in our bathroom i saw this in a bit other way :P. We went to the hospital and then we "waited" for Roof.
On the twelfth of september saw Roof the lights of the earth and his mum was k.o. and yes the pain was terrible. I was so lucky when everything was finished, so that i could just sleep.
Now to the name ;)
The whole time we listened to music then Roof came and there was this song. So i asked mum who was singing this song and she said : RUFUS WAINWRIGHT.
And that´s it. We called him Rufus, but his nickname is Roof :).
Yes. That was it.
aaaahhhhh! i forgott something !
Sam cried :)
Ohh dear that was so cute, when i think about it now.
Yes is there something else?!
Mhnm our familys visited us and there is no more to say.
That good because Roof need something to eat now , see you later =)

Kapitel 13

There are new informations.
Sams mum ist pregnant !
When i heard this i couldn´t believe it. When you think about this it´s very crazy!
The baby of Sams mum will be the aunt or the oncle of my baby. :D
I can just laugh when i think about it.
Now i´m in the eighth month. In the fifth month we wrote our audits and when i was in the seventh month we got them back. Oh my god mine were terrible and Sams were really okay, but i think we both didn´t care about this.
With every day i´m getting more nervous. You know every moment my baby can come. Sure i´m just waiting for that and i get so happy when i think about that, but there is also the pain when you get your baby. Mum said that this pain was the worsest thing she had ever exerienced. Very encouraging, isn´t it? =/
But i will stop thinking about that. I just get more and more afraight.
I´m hungry, so i will go and eat something. ;)

Kapitel 12

( KAPITEL WHERE SAM IS IN THE FUTURE ! )

Ooh dear. I´m ill. I´ve got a cold and that´s very unsuitable. Today was Roofs jab and I normally should go there with him, but I really couldn´t go. So I had to asked Sam if he could skipped college for that. Maybe you ask yourself : Why hadn´t she asked her parents? I can give you an answer ;) : Mum AND dad weren´t at home, because they had to work.I think that it isn´t so bad that Sam went to the jab with Roof. He´s the dad so he can go with his son. Well I´m just happy that Roof got his jab and everything is okay for this moment.

Kapitel 11

I will get my baby. That´s the only thing i ever really wanted and i´m sure about that.
We talked with my parents about the thing, living together and where. I was sure that Sam and me would live together in my room, but i made this statement without my parents. We talked and talked and suddenly it was no discussion anymore it was a little fight! The reason was hat mum thought, that the baby and me would live together. Sam shpuld live at his home and visit the baby and me. So i said that Sam and me are togehter again and that we would live together and when this is such a problem for them we search another place where we can live. For them we are too young and that annoys me. I know that they want just the best for us, but you know ;| . Everything is a bit complicated. The result is now, that Sam and me will live together in my room and i think that the best for us all . :)

What does the pregnancy mean for me?!

Okaay, i founded a new point to discuss on. Well i´m going to be a mother and i think my life will change dramatically! So here are the points which will change my life for good or bad:

NEGATIV

- no sleep
- change diars
-beeing a mother
- no "childhood" like
others have
- give up things
- bad comments
from people
- getting bigger than before
- grow up very fast
- don´t know how the future will
be

POSITIV

- beeing a mother
- just beeing lucky
- connected with Sam
- get self-confidence
- learn to assume responsibility
- perhaps i will meet teenagers
who are in the same situation

Mhnmm, this are the points. Maybe the negativ points are the majority, but you just see this in an other way. The most points which are negativ are really not so bad like they sound, that means for me. For example: bad comments from people ... i really don´t care about them. They should live their own life. Sure that isn´t so nice, but i think that i can deal well with it.
Form your own opinion about that. My opinion do you know now. ;)

Kapitel 10

OMG!
I think my life is at that time like a ride with a roller-coaster.
First: It´s going up and down...
and Second: You never know what will come next.
So you can discribe my life.
---> One time the thing with Sam and me is perfect like it is now again :) , but like i said: you never know what will come next.
Okay i think it´s better when i discribe what´s going on now. ;)
Sam and me are together again and that makes me really happy. It´s better when we do the things for expactant parent together and i needn´t do everything alone.
For example:
Mum arranged for us to go to classes which are called NCT. She said that she visited them when she was pregant and they helped her very much and she founded new friends. Well we did what she said and yes i will never go back to this class, maybe we will find another, but this one was terrible. All of them there were older than our parents and there was a teacher of Sams school. One time and never again! :D
Ooh teacher is a good word. Now my hole school and Sams hole school knows that i´m pregnant. Great thing really, when everybody is starring at your belly. =/ arggh
There was another thing i wanted to tell, but that´s strange i don´t know anymore ....
aaah okay i´ve got it again^^
I wanted to tell the story, how Sam and me came together again.
- Sam and me went to hospital for a scan, where you at the baby on an X-ray machine and thank god they told us that everythink is okay. Then they asked whether we want to know if it´s a girl or boy. Sam didn´t want to know it, but i couldn´t wait to know it. =)
Now it´s going to be official:
It´s a BOY! :)
I can´t say whether i wanted to have a girl. I´m just happy to know that everything is okay. ;)
Now back to the story...
When we came out from the hospital, i took Sams hand, because it made me happy and maybe even a bit proud to see my own baby. Then i asked Sam how he feels and then we talked a bit about the past and so on and after a while we came to the future, that means the aspect : staying friends or beeing together for a long time. I asked him : " Do you think you might want to be more than friends?", and suddenly he kissed me and i kissed him. We both had find out that we spended to much time together and we will change that. When we were the first time together we didn´t ignored our friend, in our world there were just Sam and me and no one else and maybe that was our problem.

I think that was all for this moment. More comes later ;) :)





Look, that´s our little son :)

Kapitel 9

Well, now it´s official. I am pregnant. Yesterday we, that means Sam and me, told it to our familys and they actually did not react, who i would prefer it. They all ased me if i will get the baby, but that is really NO question for me.
I WILL GET MY BABY!
... and i don´t care about that what they say. I think that´s my decision and that´s it . Okay, it is also a bit of their decision, because i think that i need their help.I hope that we all together will come to an end that we all agree with, so that the future of Sam, me and of course of the baby is save. We will see what comes next .

Kapitel 7 & 8

I don´t know what to say. I am speechless. Yesterday Sam ran away from home. He was in hastings where he had been for a year with his mum. I things that all was or is to much for him. But know what shall i do? I don´t thing that Sam wants to be a father and than i´m alone with my baby. Really i can´t understand him. What would be, when something happened to him? Then he would be dead just because of me. When i heard that he went away i couldn´t breath. I had to sat down on the couch and Sam mum helped me, she gave me something to drink and then we talked. She asked me if i know a reason he Sam went away or if i noticed something or know where he is. I just sayed her that it´s over with us and that i have no idea where he could be. She was not very happy to hear that, so she made a really sad face. Suddenly she got up from the couch and took her mobilephone out of her little bag. With the sentence : " I don´t know what...i think i must call the police!" , she left me alone in the living-room and went out for calling the police. After 5 minutes she came back and sayed that she must go home, because the police wanted to meet her at Sams and hers home. When she was out of the house i suddenly started cryind. I think this all was completly too much for me.

Kapitel 6

Now i´m a mother and Sam is a father and before Roof ( that´s the name of our little son ) i could´t imagine beeing a mother, but know i can´t imagine living without Roof. I really love him more than my own live. Sure, beeing a mother isn´t so easy. Sleep the whole night? That is a foreign word for me and okay it´s also hard when you go to school and you have got a baby. Well Sams mum and my parent help us where they can, it´s great! I think without them, there could be nothing right. Sure there are problems, but when i look into Roofs little face, i know why i hadn´t give him away or something else.

Kapitel 6,7&8

Kapitel 5.

I don´t know what happened, but that with Sam and me ... it´s over.
I think that it´s the best when i tell the whole story now.
It was Sams 16 birthday and i had to talk to him. You know i was late with my period and i wanted to know if i´m pregnant or not. We met at Starbucks. I arrives there before Sam and this time when i was waiting for Sam was terrible, i didn´t know what Sam would say when i really was pregnant. Suddenly Sam arrived and together we went to chemist´s, to buy a pregnancy-test, but there we hadn´t enough money. So i went home for more money, but when i came back ... there was no Sam anymore ...

Kapitel 5

I don´t know what happened, but the thing with Sam and me ... it´s over.
Now, i will tell you what happened.
It was Sams 16 birthdayand i had to meet him, because we had to talk to eath other. You know i was late with my period and i wanted to know if i was pregnant or not.
So we met at starbucks. I arrives there for Sam and this time was terrible, because i don´t know

FUTURE?

Pregnant? :-0



Oh my god. I am desperate. Maybe i will get a baby. I don´t know what to do when my suspicion is right. First i don´t know if i could offer my baby a good life. I´m at school and i don´t have a job or money. Mum would freak out and Sam? Well i don´t think that he would stay with me and the baby, so the baby won´t have a real dad. BUT i can´t kill my own baby. This would be the end of my nerves. I would aways think , what would be if everything had gone good, Mum and Sam helped me, things like that. Or maybe i would be a good mum,well a teeny-mum like Sams mum. A decision like that would destroy me and my life. Till now i don´t loose the hope that there´s a good end for me. OK! I must go out. I need some fresh air, that all is too much.

Kapitel 4

I don´t know, but something is wrong with Sam and me. We don´t meet each other every day and Sam is really strange. Somethimes i have got the feeling that he will not see me and he just meets me, because he don´t want to make me sad. The problem is that i don´t know a real reason for this behaviour. I can just speculate. A few days ago my parents invited Sam for lunch and it was terrible. They were outrageous to Sam and for that i hate them! If that is the reason why Sam is like that , i will never talk to them again. A other reason could be that we see each other to much and Sam needs his "freedom". We will see what will happen next.

Kapitel 3

I really have to say that my world ist perferct at this time. Now Sam is my boyfriend and i am so happy. Sam is the best boyfriend i ever had. He is so nice and cute. We meet each other every day and i still can´t imagine living without him. I can talk with him about every thing and he always listens to me and helps me when i´ve got a problem, but i have to be careful. In school i just wait for the end to go home and meet him. I can´t concentrate and if mum will notice that i am dead. but till now my grades are good, so mum can´t say something. Well what else can i say? I really love Sam and i hope that we will always be together, because i don´t think that i can love somebody so much like him. PERFECT WORLD! :):):)

2. Kapitel

Yesterday was mum´s party. First it was horrible, so i sat down on the couch and said nothing to the guests, but then there was this cute guy, Sam. He started to talk to me, but i was very unpolite, so that he went away. I felt miserable, because he was really nice and not a bad guy. I said sorry and we started again. We talked the whole time and then we went into my room and watched a movie. He sat in the chair and i sat in front of him on the floor. It was a great evening and i gave him my number, because we wanted to go to the cinema today. Well, we actually meet. Before the date i was so nervous, but when i saw him it was okay. We didn´t go to the cinema we just talked and later he came with me and then you can imagine what happened. Now i don´t know if we are together or just friends. There´s just one thing i know: i really really like Sam, maybe i love him.





That´s the guy,I´m talking about.
SAM <3