Kapitel 16

Oh dear.

I swear it´s really not easy to take responsibility for a baby.

Sam and I have had no sufficient sleep since 3 weeks. Every night Roof cries after 3 hours sleep and that one or two times the night. And I have not got used to it. Every time when he cries, I worry what´s going on in my room.

BUT!

…that´s not all!

My look has changed a lot. When I look in the mirror, I don´t see the Alicia, I have seen before.

This Alicia looks very tired and very, yes I would not say untidy, but I don´t have time for me. That means no makeup and no extravagant hair-styles. Sometimes I could cry when I see that.
There is no Alicia anymore, who has the dream of being a model.

Sometimes I think of my life before Roof was born. Sure it was easier. No changing diapers, sleep the whole night and going out meeting friends…all the things that teenagers normally do. How hard being a mum is …

I would never give up my life for anything of this world.

When I see Roof smiling, I forget everything of that.J

Being parents can also be very funny. For example there is a little competition between Sam and me.

We both look who change diapers the best and I have to say that Sam is much better than me, but I don´t give up. One day I will be better ;)

Yesterday Sam and I had our first fight .

At college Sam beat my ex-boyfriend, who is called Jason.

Jason provoked Sam. He said that I am a b**** and so it means that Sam couldn´t be sure that he is the dad of Roof. But Sam knows that I split up with my ex, because he just wanted the one thing. Well Sam knocked Jason down.

When he came back home, he told me the story and something unsettled him, so that he really put in a question if he´s the dad or not. I couldn´t believe it and it made me really sad. In my opinion Sam knows who is Roofs dad? SAM! Who else?! We fight with words and in the end I told him that for him the world is still open. He can just do what he wants. Sam can go to college everything what I see is the inside of our house. I mean I never would become an atomic scientist or a famous book-writer, but I would become something.

After a time calmed down and I apologized .We embraced each other and we even kissed a little bit.

Everything went it´s normal way this day. Roof and I slept a bit and Sam went out for skating. One hour later Sam´s mum came and helped me with Roof. She looked for him, so that I could go out and have some time for me. It was just half and hour, but I really enjoyed it.