Kapitel 14

Our son :) isn´t he cute?

Suddenly everything went very quickly. The pain was there and i noticed that Roof was ready to see us ;) . I took a bath, then arrived Sam and he came in. I think he was more nervous than me :D
everything he should do for me went wrong ^^. Well now i don´t care about this , but in our bathroom i saw this in a bit other way :P. We went to the hospital and then we "waited" for Roof.
On the twelfth of september saw Roof the lights of the earth and his mum was k.o. and yes the pain was terrible. I was so lucky when everything was finished, so that i could just sleep.
Now to the name ;)
The whole time we listened to music then Roof came and there was this song. So i asked mum who was singing this song and she said : RUFUS WAINWRIGHT.
And that´s it. We called him Rufus, but his nickname is Roof :).
Yes. That was it.
aaaahhhhh! i forgott something !
Sam cried :)
Ohh dear that was so cute, when i think about it now.
Yes is there something else?!
Mhnm our familys visited us and there is no more to say.
That good because Roof need something to eat now , see you later =)

Kapitel 13

There are new informations.
Sams mum ist pregnant !
When i heard this i couldn´t believe it. When you think about this it´s very crazy!
The baby of Sams mum will be the aunt or the oncle of my baby. :D
I can just laugh when i think about it.
Now i´m in the eighth month. In the fifth month we wrote our audits and when i was in the seventh month we got them back. Oh my god mine were terrible and Sams were really okay, but i think we both didn´t care about this.
With every day i´m getting more nervous. You know every moment my baby can come. Sure i´m just waiting for that and i get so happy when i think about that, but there is also the pain when you get your baby. Mum said that this pain was the worsest thing she had ever exerienced. Very encouraging, isn´t it? =/
But i will stop thinking about that. I just get more and more afraight.
I´m hungry, so i will go and eat something. ;)

Kapitel 12

( KAPITEL WHERE SAM IS IN THE FUTURE ! )

Ooh dear. I´m ill. I´ve got a cold and that´s very unsuitable. Today was Roofs jab and I normally should go there with him, but I really couldn´t go. So I had to asked Sam if he could skipped college for that. Maybe you ask yourself : Why hadn´t she asked her parents? I can give you an answer ;) : Mum AND dad weren´t at home, because they had to work.I think that it isn´t so bad that Sam went to the jab with Roof. He´s the dad so he can go with his son. Well I´m just happy that Roof got his jab and everything is okay for this moment.

Kapitel 11

I will get my baby. That´s the only thing i ever really wanted and i´m sure about that.
We talked with my parents about the thing, living together and where. I was sure that Sam and me would live together in my room, but i made this statement without my parents. We talked and talked and suddenly it was no discussion anymore it was a little fight! The reason was hat mum thought, that the baby and me would live together. Sam shpuld live at his home and visit the baby and me. So i said that Sam and me are togehter again and that we would live together and when this is such a problem for them we search another place where we can live. For them we are too young and that annoys me. I know that they want just the best for us, but you know ;| . Everything is a bit complicated. The result is now, that Sam and me will live together in my room and i think that the best for us all . :)

What does the pregnancy mean for me?!

Okaay, i founded a new point to discuss on. Well i´m going to be a mother and i think my life will change dramatically! So here are the points which will change my life for good or bad:

NEGATIV

- no sleep
- change diars
-beeing a mother
- no "childhood" like
others have
- give up things
- bad comments
from people
- getting bigger than before
- grow up very fast
- don´t know how the future will
be

POSITIV

- beeing a mother
- just beeing lucky
- connected with Sam
- get self-confidence
- learn to assume responsibility
- perhaps i will meet teenagers
who are in the same situation

Mhnmm, this are the points. Maybe the negativ points are the majority, but you just see this in an other way. The most points which are negativ are really not so bad like they sound, that means for me. For example: bad comments from people ... i really don´t care about them. They should live their own life. Sure that isn´t so nice, but i think that i can deal well with it.
Form your own opinion about that. My opinion do you know now. ;)

Kapitel 10

OMG!
I think my life is at that time like a ride with a roller-coaster.
First: It´s going up and down...
and Second: You never know what will come next.
So you can discribe my life.
---> One time the thing with Sam and me is perfect like it is now again :) , but like i said: you never know what will come next.
Okay i think it´s better when i discribe what´s going on now. ;)
Sam and me are together again and that makes me really happy. It´s better when we do the things for expactant parent together and i needn´t do everything alone.
For example:
Mum arranged for us to go to classes which are called NCT. She said that she visited them when she was pregant and they helped her very much and she founded new friends. Well we did what she said and yes i will never go back to this class, maybe we will find another, but this one was terrible. All of them there were older than our parents and there was a teacher of Sams school. One time and never again! :D
Ooh teacher is a good word. Now my hole school and Sams hole school knows that i´m pregnant. Great thing really, when everybody is starring at your belly. =/ arggh
There was another thing i wanted to tell, but that´s strange i don´t know anymore ....
aaah okay i´ve got it again^^
I wanted to tell the story, how Sam and me came together again.
- Sam and me went to hospital for a scan, where you at the baby on an X-ray machine and thank god they told us that everythink is okay. Then they asked whether we want to know if it´s a girl or boy. Sam didn´t want to know it, but i couldn´t wait to know it. =)
Now it´s going to be official:
It´s a BOY! :)
I can´t say whether i wanted to have a girl. I´m just happy to know that everything is okay. ;)
Now back to the story...
When we came out from the hospital, i took Sams hand, because it made me happy and maybe even a bit proud to see my own baby. Then i asked Sam how he feels and then we talked a bit about the past and so on and after a while we came to the future, that means the aspect : staying friends or beeing together for a long time. I asked him : " Do you think you might want to be more than friends?", and suddenly he kissed me and i kissed him. We both had find out that we spended to much time together and we will change that. When we were the first time together we didn´t ignored our friend, in our world there were just Sam and me and no one else and maybe that was our problem.

I think that was all for this moment. More comes later ;) :)





Look, that´s our little son :)

Kapitel 9

Well, now it´s official. I am pregnant. Yesterday we, that means Sam and me, told it to our familys and they actually did not react, who i would prefer it. They all ased me if i will get the baby, but that is really NO question for me.
I WILL GET MY BABY!
... and i don´t care about that what they say. I think that´s my decision and that´s it . Okay, it is also a bit of their decision, because i think that i need their help.I hope that we all together will come to an end that we all agree with, so that the future of Sam, me and of course of the baby is save. We will see what comes next .

Kapitel 7 & 8

I don´t know what to say. I am speechless. Yesterday Sam ran away from home. He was in hastings where he had been for a year with his mum. I things that all was or is to much for him. But know what shall i do? I don´t thing that Sam wants to be a father and than i´m alone with my baby. Really i can´t understand him. What would be, when something happened to him? Then he would be dead just because of me. When i heard that he went away i couldn´t breath. I had to sat down on the couch and Sam mum helped me, she gave me something to drink and then we talked. She asked me if i know a reason he Sam went away or if i noticed something or know where he is. I just sayed her that it´s over with us and that i have no idea where he could be. She was not very happy to hear that, so she made a really sad face. Suddenly she got up from the couch and took her mobilephone out of her little bag. With the sentence : " I don´t know what...i think i must call the police!" , she left me alone in the living-room and went out for calling the police. After 5 minutes she came back and sayed that she must go home, because the police wanted to meet her at Sams and hers home. When she was out of the house i suddenly started cryind. I think this all was completly too much for me.